KEEP FIT VMCC STYLE - by John Phillips

Recent press and television adverts tell us that most of us are well below the required fitness level, and doing something that leaves you breathless is very good for you, so to this end I have devised a series of exercises for the vintage motorcycle enthusiast, an ideal start for the New Year Resolution List.

Start gently .... take your newly arrived copy of the VMCC Calendar of Events, scan the pages carefully, the range of events will take your breath away, yes I know it's not the same as being rendered breathless, but I did say start gently. Highlight events that fancy being sure to include the Banbury and one other big'ish event.

EXERCISE 1 .... Get into the garage and get that cobweb covered, slightly rusting machine out of hibernation. Oil, polish, and put in some fresh petrol. Now practice kick starting until you have it of pat, if not first then second prod. Now that should have got your heart rate up a good pace, don't forget there's nothing quite as embarrassing as collapsing exhausted in front of a large crowd when the old girl doesn't fire up only to end up getting pushed around the car park by a bunch of decrepit old sods, older but fitter than yourself.

EXERCISE 2 .... The event day has arrived, now this is more of a gentle limbering up session, pushing the machine at a steady pace, aim at the ramp on the rear of the trailer, exerting just enough effort to get up the ramp and onto the trailer, now for the stretch and pull phase, holding the bike with one hand reach for the straps which you should have placed closer but remember it's doing you no end of good and you can relax while you drive to the venue.

EXERCISE 3 .... Now at the venue and fully recovered from loading up, try exercise 2 in reverse and unload, try not to drop it or look too exhausted. Cool down slowly after this exercise by taking a gentle walk around the other machines, and introducing yourself to other like-minded people.

EXERCISE 4 .... Now this exercise depends upon how much weight you have put on since you last wore your leathers/one piece suit. But if you thrash around a lot before you collapse in a heap, trapped half in and half out of your suit, then some good Samaritan will come over grab you by the scruff of your suit and with one good shoulder dislocating pull, will assist you into your second skin, ignore the intense pain, mutter "thanks" and collapse over your machine pretending to inspect something while you regain both your composure and your breath.

By now you are either in the "was all this exercise worth it" or "we do this for pleasure?" mode, but stay with it for now comes the big one.

EXERCISE 5 .... In full gear, on a warm Sunday afternoon, kick start the beast. Remembering after the third or fourth kick that there are within earshot, women, children and ancient bikers of nervous disposition. If successful (and I bet it left you breathless) a gentle run through the beautiful English countryside follows, lovely scenery, in good company, and all the fresh air you can breath for free, all the way to the finish, via a good lunch if you're lucky.

Now at the finish, repeat exercise 4 in reverse, though getting out is usually easier because you have sweated a couple of pounds off. Then it's exercise 2 and that gentle drive home, followed by exercise 3. By which time all that fresh air and exercise is having its effect, boy will you sleep well tonight.

Didn't I tell you that doing something that leaves you breathless is good for you and in this case for the vintage motorcycle movement aswell. So do not give up, keep on with the exercises, repeating the whole set at regular intervals, you know it's good for you.

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